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Sunday, August 11, 2013

50 Things I've Done

I have been feeling mopey about not living life to its fullest or whatever, so I decided to make a list of interesting things I've already done so I could feel better.

I have:
  1. Watched my dad throw approximately 20 bottle rockets into a bonfire while we were all sitting around it (no one was hurt)
  2. Cleaned approximately 3,000 tiny bugs off my body after unknowingly flying through them while riding in the front row on a roller coaster
  3. Snorted pepper on a casual dare
  4. Smashed a tiny container of coffee creamer with my fist... twice
  5. Taken a final exam with pneumonia and got an A
  6. Locked my keys in my car while dressed as a fairy (the locksmith lol'd at me and then opened the car for free)
  7. Taken a final exam and failed miserably, but passed the class
  8. Broken my nose... twice.
  9. Dated a stranger I met in a movie theater for four months
  10. Ran away from home for approximately 30 minutes when I was nine.
  11. Wore Pippi Longstocking hair to "wacky hair day" and was really embarrassed about it because no one knew who that was
  12. Been attacked by a blackbird
  13. Ran track on a team that won the conference championship, a title for which I contributed absolutely nothing
  14. Owned a snake as a pet
  15. Painted peace signs, flowers, and smiley faces on a bedroom wall
  16. Ate a foot-long hot-dog, got food poisoning, and didn't eat hot dogs again for a year
  17. Eventually ate a foot-long hot-dog at the same place I got food poisoining, like a smart person.
  18. Went to a Harry Potter book release party even though I hadn't read any of the books yet
  19. Had mono on my 21st birthday, made appletinis and drank them anyway
  20. Won the "quiet seat" at the children's bible study I visited with my friend every single time I visited, presumably because I literally never spoke a word ever
  21. Dated someone I met online and didn't get murdered
  22. Played softball for two years and was really bad at it
  23. Stayed awake for 24 hours straight just to see what it was like (fyi it sucked and by the end I was insufferable)
  24. Saw Leann Rimes in concert
  25. Ate the most awful cheese while staying with a family in France because I didn't want to seem like a rude douchey American
  26. Ridden a gondola in Venice while singing Aretha Franklin's "Respect" with five other high school girls
  27. Acted in a play in which I got to say "fuck" a lot and fake-punch my fake-sister in the face
  28. Failed swimming lessons
  29. Was blonde for the first two years of my life until my hair fell out and grew in basically black (wtf genetics)
  30. Woke up to a strange cat sitting on my bed and staring at me
  31. Went to take the garbage out, opened the lid, and saw the incarnation of my recurring childhood nightmare: glowing eyes staring at me (it was a baby raccoon)
  32. Burned my knees while posing for a photo outside of the Vatican.
  33. Asked a boy I was in love with to two dances, one of which was prom... was rejected both times  (for some reason, we're still really good friends)
  34. Sang in choir and sucked at it. Loved it anyway
  35. Got stung by a bee in my ear
  36. Had a photograph I took on display at my university for a semester
  37. Read my entire astronomy textbook cover to cover because I was in serious danger of failing the class
  38. Got stabbed in the hand with a pencil and could see a gray graphite mark for like four years afterward
  39. Got sent to the principal's office... for being good (I got stickers)
  40. Got detention because my entire class wouldn't shut the fuck up and I happened to be wearing a really bright red shirt so my teacher chose me because he noticed me first
  41. Baked a blueberry pie... and ate over half of it because the people I made it for didn't like pie 
  42. Took piano lessons for like six months
  43. Took dance lessons for like eight weeks
  44. Bit a kid who pissed me off on the bus and made him bleed
  45. Was on the student council for five years
  46. Cried during a sleepover because I missed my mommy... while over the age of ten
  47. Ridden on a ferry from Greece to Italy and wished I could paint the views from the window more anything I have ever wanted in my life
  48. Had a photograph I took published in a book
  49. Rappelled down a wall in Umbrige, Italy. 
  50. Stayed up past 4 AM making this list
My life is majestic and now you know it.


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