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Friday, February 13, 2015

Emotions (Abridged): 1

Happy Galentine's Day, you beautiful, unstoppable freight trains.

This week, I felt ________ because...

ANXIOUS: I'm trying to build a new business as a freelance writer. I have a shiton of things to do and learn, I feel frazzled and overwhelmed on the daily, and every day I seem to be disappointed with myself over not getting as much done as I think I should have. This blog has unwillingly been thrown onto to the backburner because apparently starting a freelance business is really fucking hard and time consuming. Who knew? (Everyone knew.)

LONESOME: Working from home is a new adventure that will take some getting used to. I'm an introvert who genuinely loves alone time and needs it on a regular basis. But Joel works long days and 12+ hours a day all alone in a small apartment without speaking real words to an actual human person (dog-persons don't count; sorry, Ranger) is starting to take its toll on my mental health. I'm trying to combat it the best I can - going to the gym a few times a week, going someplace else to work for awhile, making friends with the ghosts in my house - but it's cold out and I hate talking to strangers and sometimes the ghosts just want to be left alone with their unfinished business!! I find myself whining to Joel most days about how I miss him. But the truth is, I miss everyone.

GRATEFUL: Despite my anxiety and intermittent loneliness, I can't imagine doing anything else. There are times when I want to give up and go back to finding a soul-crushing, dead-end job with a steady paycheck like a real American, but then I remember what that was like. Office life does not suit me. This is where I'm supposed to be. This new life is the flavor of shit sandwich I can stomach, if you will. Not everyone has the opportunity to live the life they enjoy, and I'm so thankful I have the privilege of building a business while not having to worry about making rent (thanks, Joel! ♥♥♥). Everything sucks sometimes, even your dream job or your vacation or your marital bliss. Most days I believe the work will pay off in the end, and if I do forget, I have an amazing support system of people who remind me to snap out of it and keep on truckin'. 

COLORFUL: I did this to my hair:

I missed the Manic Panic phase in high school, so now I'm late to the game and it's time to go all out. Really though, this is all just a part of my futile attempts to become a magical rainbow unicorn.

Cartoon Network / Via http://truepokemonchampion.tumblr.com/

This is the first post in a new series inspired by Stephanie. 

1 comment:

  1. I think you look lovely. I love your nose ring. I have a fake one like it that I wear every once in a while. I can't wait until I retire and can pierce my nose....

    I'm also an introvert, and I love doing things on my own. I like spending time with other people and my husband, of course, but I need to recharge by myself regularly. I don't mind doing some things on my own. At the same time, I can feel lonely, but that's mostly because my husband is an even weirder introvert and he doesn't like leaving the house much....

    -Jessica L


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